Sex and the City (Theatre) - Both

It appears this film was an event to some. Jennie and I witnessed a fanboy (girl) opening night like that of Lord of the Rings. Woman came to the theatre in sequined gowns and floppy hats. Some had glow in the dark martini glasses while others sported shiny footwear unlike anything I had ever seen. Large groups of women from fifteen to seventy put on their most club worthy attire in an effort to out do their compatriots. It was a sight to behold. While Jennie was unusually excited, I myself was only somewhat. It’s not that I don’t love Sex and the City, I do. I even said to Jennie that I would rather Sex come back on air then anything I could think of at the moment (this includes Arrested Development, Seinfeld, and Sportsnight). But, I wasn’t entirely sure that Sex and the City was movie material. It was prime time material for sure, but a movie could be big and obnoxious, and that was not the Sex and the City I loved. My favorite episodes were the ones were everyone was dating some tragically flawed individual, then they would have sex and break up, no muss no fuss. That couldn’t be movie material.

After watching the movie however, I said to Jennie, “That was like watching six episodes in one sitting,” I was quite pleased. They begin the movie with the inevitable wedding between Big and Carrie. This was what I expected. Obnoxious, big, outlandishly expensive, in short every thing I hated in Sex in the City in one bird headed mess. Carrie looked horrible in her dress, not just horrible, but silly. The fashion shoot for Vogue looked ridiculous; Sarah J.P. could never be mistaken for attractive. And Big got cold feet, but as the tamer died down and Carrie went on her honeymoon with her three friends the movie also became present to me. They had set up some fantastic storylines for the remainder of the movie and I anticipated their resolutions. Before I get to those I can only say that I felt Charlotte’s storyline was a lackluster. She berthed a child, yeah. That was about it. Though now that I think about it, her yelling at Big and being angry at him felt like a subplot for her. But when you compare it to Steve cheating on Miranda I feel Charlotte got the short end of the drama stick.

Speaking of Miranda and Steve – I loved this story most of all. I hated that they had Steve cheat, but they gave him a good enough reason. I’m not saying he is justified in cheating, but any prolonged time without sex can hinder a relationship. As Samantha said in one of the episodes, “Sex is a barometer for the relationship.” The emotion in that story was well played by both actors. But I think their resolution was what I enjoyed the most. They wrote that with extreme delicacy and treated the violation between Steve and Miranda with very realistic solutions. However, I juxtapose this with Big and Carrie’s resolution. I was not entirely happy with how they treated Big’s “violation” (I secretly feel he had very little blame in the whole thing. I could discuss that more, but only if you are interested). Their resolution seemed like a quick oh-no-we’ve-already-spent-two-hours-on-this fix. He asks her to marry him right after they resolve his violation? If they would have spent half the time on their resolution as they did with Steve and Miranda I might have been happy, but oh well. You can’t always win. Jennie thought that the audience just wanted them together to get it over with. Which sounds sort of right to me.

A few quick notes before I wrap up. I thought that they played Charlotte’s mess herself scene a little too slapstick. I could have done without all the fart noises. I loved the addition of Carrie’s assistant, though she came and went a little too quickly. And I thought Samantha story was well done except they played Smith too nicely. Overall, as a fan of Sex and the City I was pleasantly surprised. We will defiantly be buying this as it seems like a short seventh season, but I can’t recommend it for none fans. I would have no clue what you would think of it.

7 out of 10 – it was exactly what I wanted, another season.

The Strangers (Theatre) - Jennie

I would be hard pressed to write this review without taking into account the experience Jennie and I had at the theatre while watching it. We had gone to see the Sex and the City movie but were idiotically surprised when it was sold out to overdressed overaged fans – more on that in the Sex and the City review. So we purchased our tickets for a Saturday showing of Sex and picked up tickets to see The Strangers instead. This ended up being the best thing we could have done. The theatre was packed with high school kids abuzz as young dating couples made idle chatter and text messages flew. This made Jennie and me antsy and feel somewhat claustrophobic. As the film started the noise subsided and the theatre grew dark. We heard a loud thump and someone shout out, “Oh, shit,” in a mundane cry for help as they fell to the floor. The theatre blew up in laughter as the patron picked himself up and hurried out of the theatre. After twenty minutes the customer came back saying audibly, “That shit hurt my knee!” to another roar of laughter. Throughout the viewing the audience participated yelling at the screen, “Oh. Shit. Girl, get out the house!” or explaining what was happening on the screen, “Them were some footsteps.” At some moments the audience screamed in fear and in other moments mocked the dialog. This made the film as enjoyable as it could have possibly been and I feel it has affected my view of the film.

From what I remember this film was a typical murder-for-no-reason horror film that dragged on for a little too long. I hate Liv Tyler and this movie didn’t help that view. Her tepid performance enticed me to root for her character’s departure. I do have to mention that I love that Glenn Howerton, Dennis on It’s Always Sunny, made a cameo though it was extremely short lived. The writing was on par with the rest of the genre, and continues the trend in horror films that Jennie and I love – everyone but the murderers die in the end. The direction was nothing to remember, but I will admit that if a sequel came out I would go see it - but only on opening night.

5 out of 10 – I feel you have already missed the window for this film to be enjoyable, but if you can watch it with a boisterous crowd, go for it. If not, then subtract two or three points.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Theatre) - Ashleigh

I will reveal significant plot points in this blog. So don’t read this if you don’t want it spoiled.

Aliens? Aliens. Ok, I know searching for the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant is similar to searching for an alien skull in that they are fantastic artifacts. I know. I won’t pretend to argue that. But Jesus didn’t resurrect in front of Indy’s eyes when he drank from the cup. It was never even debated that Jesus himself drank from the cup. It was simply an artifact that someone hid very well in a cave with an invisible bridge so that few could find and retrieve it.

Hmm, invisible bridge – ok, that seems pretty out there too.

Shoot – well, maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh on aliens – I mean, Indiana Jones has never really brought stark realism to the screen. Technically, when a man’s heart can be pulled from his chest magically, I think I should be able to make the jump to aliens. But I couldn’t. When the alien came to life and gave Cate Blanchett her wish I left the world of Indy. I know lampooning George Lucas is a popular thing, but he makes it incredibly easy, not to mention necessary. He knew it was a “controversial” decision, "We're all going to get people throwing tomatoes at us. But it's a fun movie to make,” and I guess he wanted to have fun. But I have to say, I don’t fully understand where Lucas get’s his masochistic tendency to destroy his legacy, but he seems to love doing it.

I also won’t stand here and preach the Gospel of the past Indy films. As the Doobie Brothers are with Jesus – Indy is just alright with me. So this didn’t destroy any childhood that I had.

As a Hollywood blockbuster I can say I was entertained. I can’t say I was impressed with all the action scenes, when Blanchett and Hollywood's new hard-on Shia Labeouf sword fought on cars I could see the green screen. In this day and age that is inexcusable. I don’t care if you are trying to be consistent with your previous films. But the journey to the interdimensional alien spaceship was alright. I know this may sound crazy, but I think National Treasure 2 (2007) achieved more and enthralled me in its journey to unknown plunders better. So, I guess go rent that instead of spending ten bucks to see this.

5 out of 10: Indy is still alright with me – though barely.

Oh and I wanted to post this last time but I forgot. This ran in front of Prince Caspian. I have no words, hopefully you do...

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Theatre) - Both

I’m not really sure what to think of the Chronicles of Narnia. Are they going to make more movies? Are they going to complete the saga? Can they even try? If they do that will make for an awkward fifth and sixth movie (These two are substantially different to the other books as they don’t have any of the Pevensies children in them and jump backwards into the timeline of what has occurred in Narnia already). If not, why should I continue to follow the saga? These answers are not simple ones. They have much to do money and how the other films fare. But as history has taught us the Chronicles have fared much like the big screen adventures of Don Quixote, a book that is notorious for being impossible to bring to film. The BBC first attempted the chronicles in 1967, but they only made it four novels in. Then in 1984 London's Westminster Theatre attempted the run and again only made it four books in. So, I believe the feat of bringing the chronicles to film is an impossible one. This puts a damper on my desire to continue watching these movies. I can’t really figure out why though. I think it has something to do with knowing that I will not be able to complete the journey with these characters and thus I don’t care where they go.

With this underwhelming intro I hopefully put you in the mind frame I was in when watching this. The movie opens in the Telmarine’s capitol where a child is born to someone. This causes a flourish of activity including an assassination attempt of someone. Jennie and I were sort of lost at this point and I felt that way till about an hour in. I believe if they would have kept C.S. Lewis’ story telling device this confusion may have been avoided, he opened the novel with the Pevensies children coming to Narnia – the events of the past 1300 years were then summed up by a dwarf named Trumpkin including the movies opening scenes. But the way the movie opened caused Prince Caspian and much of his character’s motivations to seem confusing. Why would he be fine with talking animals when he has never seen a talking animal and knew of them only through fairy tales? Why would he join Narnia’s fight so readily? Why didn’t he have control of his kingdom? He certainly seemed old enough. I could go on, but I feel that would be boring.

To continue, I felt the film also felt compact. Much like the Harry Potter films, I feel the chronicles tried to have too much story crammed into the three hour run time. A particular scene I could have done without is the temptation of Caspian to revive the white witch. It simply didn’t need to be in the film. It didn’t advance anyone’s story nor did it cause any real character development. There was a reason Peter Jackson was successful while translating the Lord of the Rings to film, he knew where to cut the fat. Sure, Tom Bombadil was one of my favorite character’s in the trilogy, but he wasn’t necessary. This is a lesson I feel the Narnia crew could learn from.

I also feel that an epic battle sequence with no bloodshed is ridiculous. I know they had to contractually keep the film to a PG rating, but come on. If you swing a sword at a man and make contact I would think there should be some sort of blood. Or should children be misled into thinking violent swordplay has no consequence?
Oh, the other way gets them a better rating?
Screw the kids, they’ll figure it out.

Unlike the last film I reviewed I did buy the magic here. This is essential to the enjoyment of the film. If you can’t turn off your brain for a film about a magical world with talking lions then I fear this is not the film for you. I enjoyed the talking animals with their warrior abilities to kill a man without shedding a single drop of blood – this is a world I can believe in. This also lead to a fantastic discussion after the movie between my wife and I about whether or not we would like the ability to talk to animals. I was completely against it citing the fact that I enjoy eating animals too much and hearing them talk would put a damper on the situation. Jennifer on the other had declared that she would become a vegetarian if this fantasy were at all possible. To this I replied that she would have to become a vegan, because she couldn’t just go up to a talking cow and take her milk, nor could she take enough milk to make cheese with - let's not even discuss fried chicken babies with a side of pig flesh. To this Jennie replied that this was an incorrect assumption because she would be friends with the cow and she would ask it for some of the milk and it would readily give her its bounty. This, I assured her, would not solve the problem as obtaining milk would be too hard for the masses and the milk could not be processed properly thus distorting the taste of the milk. Jennie replied that she simply wanted a talking cow friend which I could not argue with.

5 out of 10: I will not remember this film experience after a month or two. Good thing I write these things.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (Dvd) - Jennie

I enjoy Harry Potter. I love the magical realm that his world is built around. When I was younger my favorite movies were Labyrinth (1986) & Never Ending Story (1984). So, I have magical credentials. I’m not some fussbudget that can’t get into a magical story. But this film hinged on the ability to accept the fact that a store could create magical fun, and this wonder and awe was not created by the film’s director. Helm, who directed this train wreck and wrote Stranger Than Fiction (2006), did not get the viewer to retreat to the magical world the film was set in and thus the story seemed ludicrous and childish. Now, I understand that this film was for young children, but even films like Zathura – A Space Adventure (2005) got me to become part of that world while watching. I guess I was supposed to feel excitement when a room completely filled with bouncy balls was depicted, but I just didn’t buy it. I guess I was supposed to be amazed when Portman picked a red fire engine out from a book and the real thing appeared from nowhere, but who cares. I guess I was supposed to – well, I’m not sure what the zebra was doing there, but I didn’t feel anything about it either.
The acting itself was blandly stifled much like the magic. With stars like Bateman, Portman, and Hoffman I would have expected more, but I guess they figured out what a misstep this would be and quit trying. Hoffman was annoying to witness choosing to have his character lisp and seem child like in everyway possible. And I usually root for the child who is the outcast in films like these. I remember watching Never Ending Story and thinking. “I hope Bastian gets away from these bullies and wins the day,” or whatever eight year olds think. But Zach Mills, who plays Eric, was irretating. I did not want him to succeed in anything he did.
The emotional center of the film hinged on the fact that we believed in the store, its' magic, and most importantly ourselves. These beliefs helped the store restore its magic after its founder dies. It also helped me die a little inside. This is the second most played out message in kid cenema today behind believe in your friends – I fear for this next generation of children.
This movie was an overall disaster, from its played out friendless protanganst to its over zealous five year old store owner. I can’t tell you how bad it was.

1 out of 10: There is nothing redeaming about this.

Iron Man (Theatre) - Ashleigh

Let’s get this out of the way – I know the bad guys were the horribly racists “cave dwellers of middle eastern descent”, I know their were gratuitous millionaire playboy antics that were just plain sexist (see the scene on the plane where the flight attendants danced on a pole), and I know the product placement was shoved in your face by the director enough that I wanted a Whopper after the movie. I know all these things. I’m not going to argue that they didn’t occur. Nor will I say that they didn’t hurt the film (I mean come on, a video with Stark being hooded and having gun wielding men video taping him as they screamed at him in an eastern dialect – Jennie almost wanted to walk out of the theatre), but even with these flaws I am happy to say this summer has started off with a resounding explosion. After the film, while watching the credits role so I could catch a glimpse of S.H.I.E.L.D. leader Nick Fury, I told Jennie that I thought this film reinvigorated the waning superhero genre. I felt like I did when I watched Spider-Man websling through New York City. I must admit I wasn’t expecting this.

Iron Man isn’t really my kind of superhero. I mean, how can you root for a millionaire lord of war? Tony Stark certainly isn’t the everyman. Robert Downey Jr. however brings so much of his charisma to the role that they are one in the same. Downey actually is credited with some of the more memorable Stark moments as he adlibbed the speech he gave while showing off the Jericho and he told the director that Stark should sit on the floor during his return press conference. Downey actually allows you to enjoy Stark as a character. This is certainly to the film’s benefit and it renews a past love of Downey as an actor for me.

The film much like it’s subject has a glossy outer shine that you expect from multimillion dollar bill, but at its core is human. The story is not overshadowed by the effects or the action sequences. The film, when broken down, is about a man who comes to a realization that he has been an accomplice to mass murderers and must atone for that sin. This is why this film is such a success. Also important is that Jon Favreau brought the fun back to superhero movies with brisk action scenes that take up very little of the film and focuses more on the elation of being superhuman and Downey’s perfect performance.

I know some films promote themsleves as “the most fun you can have at the movie theatre” which is something I never really get. But in my estimation this is one movie that comes very close to justifying this expression. It is a great expreince to be had while munching on overpriced popcorn.

9 out of 10: This is what summer movie going is all about. Is the April 29, 2010 midnight showing of Iron Man 2 sold out yet? Cause I am there.