The Strangers (Theatre) - Jennie

I would be hard pressed to write this review without taking into account the experience Jennie and I had at the theatre while watching it. We had gone to see the Sex and the City movie but were idiotically surprised when it was sold out to overdressed overaged fans – more on that in the Sex and the City review. So we purchased our tickets for a Saturday showing of Sex and picked up tickets to see The Strangers instead. This ended up being the best thing we could have done. The theatre was packed with high school kids abuzz as young dating couples made idle chatter and text messages flew. This made Jennie and me antsy and feel somewhat claustrophobic. As the film started the noise subsided and the theatre grew dark. We heard a loud thump and someone shout out, “Oh, shit,” in a mundane cry for help as they fell to the floor. The theatre blew up in laughter as the patron picked himself up and hurried out of the theatre. After twenty minutes the customer came back saying audibly, “That shit hurt my knee!” to another roar of laughter. Throughout the viewing the audience participated yelling at the screen, “Oh. Shit. Girl, get out the house!” or explaining what was happening on the screen, “Them were some footsteps.” At some moments the audience screamed in fear and in other moments mocked the dialog. This made the film as enjoyable as it could have possibly been and I feel it has affected my view of the film.

From what I remember this film was a typical murder-for-no-reason horror film that dragged on for a little too long. I hate Liv Tyler and this movie didn’t help that view. Her tepid performance enticed me to root for her character’s departure. I do have to mention that I love that Glenn Howerton, Dennis on It’s Always Sunny, made a cameo though it was extremely short lived. The writing was on par with the rest of the genre, and continues the trend in horror films that Jennie and I love – everyone but the murderers die in the end. The direction was nothing to remember, but I will admit that if a sequel came out I would go see it - but only on opening night.

5 out of 10 – I feel you have already missed the window for this film to be enjoyable, but if you can watch it with a boisterous crowd, go for it. If not, then subtract two or three points.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Theatre) - Ashleigh

I will reveal significant plot points in this blog. So don’t read this if you don’t want it spoiled.

Aliens? Aliens. Ok, I know searching for the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant is similar to searching for an alien skull in that they are fantastic artifacts. I know. I won’t pretend to argue that. But Jesus didn’t resurrect in front of Indy’s eyes when he drank from the cup. It was never even debated that Jesus himself drank from the cup. It was simply an artifact that someone hid very well in a cave with an invisible bridge so that few could find and retrieve it.

Hmm, invisible bridge – ok, that seems pretty out there too.

Shoot – well, maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh on aliens – I mean, Indiana Jones has never really brought stark realism to the screen. Technically, when a man’s heart can be pulled from his chest magically, I think I should be able to make the jump to aliens. But I couldn’t. When the alien came to life and gave Cate Blanchett her wish I left the world of Indy. I know lampooning George Lucas is a popular thing, but he makes it incredibly easy, not to mention necessary. He knew it was a “controversial” decision, "We're all going to get people throwing tomatoes at us. But it's a fun movie to make,” and I guess he wanted to have fun. But I have to say, I don’t fully understand where Lucas get’s his masochistic tendency to destroy his legacy, but he seems to love doing it.

I also won’t stand here and preach the Gospel of the past Indy films. As the Doobie Brothers are with Jesus – Indy is just alright with me. So this didn’t destroy any childhood that I had.

As a Hollywood blockbuster I can say I was entertained. I can’t say I was impressed with all the action scenes, when Blanchett and Hollywood's new hard-on Shia Labeouf sword fought on cars I could see the green screen. In this day and age that is inexcusable. I don’t care if you are trying to be consistent with your previous films. But the journey to the interdimensional alien spaceship was alright. I know this may sound crazy, but I think National Treasure 2 (2007) achieved more and enthralled me in its journey to unknown plunders better. So, I guess go rent that instead of spending ten bucks to see this.

5 out of 10: Indy is still alright with me – though barely.

Oh and I wanted to post this last time but I forgot. This ran in front of Prince Caspian. I have no words, hopefully you do...

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (Theatre) - Both

I’m not really sure what to think of the Chronicles of Narnia. Are they going to make more movies? Are they going to complete the saga? Can they even try? If they do that will make for an awkward fifth and sixth movie (These two are substantially different to the other books as they don’t have any of the Pevensies children in them and jump backwards into the timeline of what has occurred in Narnia already). If not, why should I continue to follow the saga? These answers are not simple ones. They have much to do money and how the other films fare. But as history has taught us the Chronicles have fared much like the big screen adventures of Don Quixote, a book that is notorious for being impossible to bring to film. The BBC first attempted the chronicles in 1967, but they only made it four novels in. Then in 1984 London's Westminster Theatre attempted the run and again only made it four books in. So, I believe the feat of bringing the chronicles to film is an impossible one. This puts a damper on my desire to continue watching these movies. I can’t really figure out why though. I think it has something to do with knowing that I will not be able to complete the journey with these characters and thus I don’t care where they go.

With this underwhelming intro I hopefully put you in the mind frame I was in when watching this. The movie opens in the Telmarine’s capitol where a child is born to someone. This causes a flourish of activity including an assassination attempt of someone. Jennie and I were sort of lost at this point and I felt that way till about an hour in. I believe if they would have kept C.S. Lewis’ story telling device this confusion may have been avoided, he opened the novel with the Pevensies children coming to Narnia – the events of the past 1300 years were then summed up by a dwarf named Trumpkin including the movies opening scenes. But the way the movie opened caused Prince Caspian and much of his character’s motivations to seem confusing. Why would he be fine with talking animals when he has never seen a talking animal and knew of them only through fairy tales? Why would he join Narnia’s fight so readily? Why didn’t he have control of his kingdom? He certainly seemed old enough. I could go on, but I feel that would be boring.

To continue, I felt the film also felt compact. Much like the Harry Potter films, I feel the chronicles tried to have too much story crammed into the three hour run time. A particular scene I could have done without is the temptation of Caspian to revive the white witch. It simply didn’t need to be in the film. It didn’t advance anyone’s story nor did it cause any real character development. There was a reason Peter Jackson was successful while translating the Lord of the Rings to film, he knew where to cut the fat. Sure, Tom Bombadil was one of my favorite character’s in the trilogy, but he wasn’t necessary. This is a lesson I feel the Narnia crew could learn from.

I also feel that an epic battle sequence with no bloodshed is ridiculous. I know they had to contractually keep the film to a PG rating, but come on. If you swing a sword at a man and make contact I would think there should be some sort of blood. Or should children be misled into thinking violent swordplay has no consequence?
Oh, the other way gets them a better rating?
Screw the kids, they’ll figure it out.

Unlike the last film I reviewed I did buy the magic here. This is essential to the enjoyment of the film. If you can’t turn off your brain for a film about a magical world with talking lions then I fear this is not the film for you. I enjoyed the talking animals with their warrior abilities to kill a man without shedding a single drop of blood – this is a world I can believe in. This also lead to a fantastic discussion after the movie between my wife and I about whether or not we would like the ability to talk to animals. I was completely against it citing the fact that I enjoy eating animals too much and hearing them talk would put a damper on the situation. Jennifer on the other had declared that she would become a vegetarian if this fantasy were at all possible. To this I replied that she would have to become a vegan, because she couldn’t just go up to a talking cow and take her milk, nor could she take enough milk to make cheese with - let's not even discuss fried chicken babies with a side of pig flesh. To this Jennie replied that this was an incorrect assumption because she would be friends with the cow and she would ask it for some of the milk and it would readily give her its bounty. This, I assured her, would not solve the problem as obtaining milk would be too hard for the masses and the milk could not be processed properly thus distorting the taste of the milk. Jennie replied that she simply wanted a talking cow friend which I could not argue with.

5 out of 10: I will not remember this film experience after a month or two. Good thing I write these things.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (Dvd) - Jennie

I enjoy Harry Potter. I love the magical realm that his world is built around. When I was younger my favorite movies were Labyrinth (1986) & Never Ending Story (1984). So, I have magical credentials. I’m not some fussbudget that can’t get into a magical story. But this film hinged on the ability to accept the fact that a store could create magical fun, and this wonder and awe was not created by the film’s director. Helm, who directed this train wreck and wrote Stranger Than Fiction (2006), did not get the viewer to retreat to the magical world the film was set in and thus the story seemed ludicrous and childish. Now, I understand that this film was for young children, but even films like Zathura – A Space Adventure (2005) got me to become part of that world while watching. I guess I was supposed to feel excitement when a room completely filled with bouncy balls was depicted, but I just didn’t buy it. I guess I was supposed to be amazed when Portman picked a red fire engine out from a book and the real thing appeared from nowhere, but who cares. I guess I was supposed to – well, I’m not sure what the zebra was doing there, but I didn’t feel anything about it either.
The acting itself was blandly stifled much like the magic. With stars like Bateman, Portman, and Hoffman I would have expected more, but I guess they figured out what a misstep this would be and quit trying. Hoffman was annoying to witness choosing to have his character lisp and seem child like in everyway possible. And I usually root for the child who is the outcast in films like these. I remember watching Never Ending Story and thinking. “I hope Bastian gets away from these bullies and wins the day,” or whatever eight year olds think. But Zach Mills, who plays Eric, was irretating. I did not want him to succeed in anything he did.
The emotional center of the film hinged on the fact that we believed in the store, its' magic, and most importantly ourselves. These beliefs helped the store restore its magic after its founder dies. It also helped me die a little inside. This is the second most played out message in kid cenema today behind believe in your friends – I fear for this next generation of children.
This movie was an overall disaster, from its played out friendless protanganst to its over zealous five year old store owner. I can’t tell you how bad it was.

1 out of 10: There is nothing redeaming about this.

Iron Man (Theatre) - Ashleigh

Let’s get this out of the way – I know the bad guys were the horribly racists “cave dwellers of middle eastern descent”, I know their were gratuitous millionaire playboy antics that were just plain sexist (see the scene on the plane where the flight attendants danced on a pole), and I know the product placement was shoved in your face by the director enough that I wanted a Whopper after the movie. I know all these things. I’m not going to argue that they didn’t occur. Nor will I say that they didn’t hurt the film (I mean come on, a video with Stark being hooded and having gun wielding men video taping him as they screamed at him in an eastern dialect – Jennie almost wanted to walk out of the theatre), but even with these flaws I am happy to say this summer has started off with a resounding explosion. After the film, while watching the credits role so I could catch a glimpse of S.H.I.E.L.D. leader Nick Fury, I told Jennie that I thought this film reinvigorated the waning superhero genre. I felt like I did when I watched Spider-Man websling through New York City. I must admit I wasn’t expecting this.

Iron Man isn’t really my kind of superhero. I mean, how can you root for a millionaire lord of war? Tony Stark certainly isn’t the everyman. Robert Downey Jr. however brings so much of his charisma to the role that they are one in the same. Downey actually is credited with some of the more memorable Stark moments as he adlibbed the speech he gave while showing off the Jericho and he told the director that Stark should sit on the floor during his return press conference. Downey actually allows you to enjoy Stark as a character. This is certainly to the film’s benefit and it renews a past love of Downey as an actor for me.

The film much like it’s subject has a glossy outer shine that you expect from multimillion dollar bill, but at its core is human. The story is not overshadowed by the effects or the action sequences. The film, when broken down, is about a man who comes to a realization that he has been an accomplice to mass murderers and must atone for that sin. This is why this film is such a success. Also important is that Jon Favreau brought the fun back to superhero movies with brisk action scenes that take up very little of the film and focuses more on the elation of being superhuman and Downey’s perfect performance.

I know some films promote themsleves as “the most fun you can have at the movie theatre” which is something I never really get. But in my estimation this is one movie that comes very close to justifying this expression. It is a great expreince to be had while munching on overpriced popcorn.

9 out of 10: This is what summer movie going is all about. Is the April 29, 2010 midnight showing of Iron Man 2 sold out yet? Cause I am there.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Theatre) - Both

Judd Apatow is a man that can get things done – now. Back in early 2000 when he was trying to keep his television show about siblings growing up in Chippewa, Mi on the air this was not the case. Today things are vastly different, though his friends are not. With this power to get things done Apatow has had any and every film he and his friends can think of green lit and made into critically loved films. Seth Rogan put together Knocked Up (2007) and Superbad (2007) with help from Apatow and now Jason Segel is getting his Apatow-boost. These Freaks and Geeks alums aren’t alone; this August James Franco is getting his with the buddy flick The Pineapple Express (2008).
In this film Jason Segel plays a lovelorn loser that resembles his Freaks and Geeks role. He is dumped by his girlfriend of six years and decides to take a vacation to get his mind off things. The scene in which he gets dumped is particularly hilarious in that Segel is naked throughout the whole scene. He attempts to stall the breakup by not getting dressed which further humiliates him as he is then subsequently dumped while flaccid (a fact that is shown multiple times). This humiliation is not his last as Segel’s character garners many of his laughs from his degradation. The shining moment is when Segel plays a song from his incomplete Dracula musical. This scene is particularly funny and well played by Segel as a crowd looks on with confusion.
The key to most of Apatow’s projects are raunchy humor and a secret ingredient. Films like Waiting (2005) and Good Luck Chuck (2007) have raunchy humor and don’t understand this so they fail. Apatow knows that good humor is real (for lack of a better term, “it has heart”). I don’t know how else to put it. But I see it in every one of Apatow’s projects. Knocked Up had true soul searching in Rogen’s character as he struggles to quickly grow up, Superbad had a friendship that felt genuine and faced the trauma of a separation after high school, and Sarah Marshall has a breakup with real substance. The two protagonists both do things to ruin the relationship they have spent six years on and this is devastating. This film doesn’t pretend it isn’t, but it finds the humor in this devastation.
While I can’t say this is my favorite of the Apatow’s Crews’ flicks I must say they are operating on a different level than the Frat Pack of the early 2000s. And while Jason Segel isn’t a leading man – he just isn’t, I can’t help but fall for the old Andopolis charm.

7 out of 10: Segel gets humor out of real life a feat which is both hard and rewarding for the audience.

21 (Theatre)

With a keen eye and knowledge of my blog readers will notice this entry doesn’t have a who wanted to watch it and the explanation on that is that no one really wanted to watch it. We wanted to go to a film and there was nothing else on. So, Jennie, Vamsi, and I decided on this bland film that claimed the top spot for two weeks in a row (a hard feet in this movie-of-the-week world).
Early spring is a wasteland for the movie going public. Studios seem to drop films here when they didn’t pan out as ideas, or maybe they weren’t Oscary enough for an Oscar run, or they didn’t have a big name star to anchor them. Films like Daredevil (Feb. 15, 2005), Failure to Launch (March 12, 2006), Disturbia (April 13, 2007) aren’t really expected to do very much – maybe they can hold the audience over till May kicks the movie going season into full swing, maybe they can’t – who cares. But movie studios neglect the early spring. This is the only explanation for a film like Disturbia to be the only movie last year to hold the top box office spot for three weeks in a row – the only one. In that tradition I bring you 21.
This film is about a poor kid who happens to go to MIT and wants to go to Harvard medical school after he graduates, every financially handicapped kid’s dream. Kevin Spacey notices him in a class as being particularly bright, again the kid goes to MIT, and enlists him in his gang of cronies who go to Las Vegas on the weekend to make money. They aren’t doing anything illegal – just counting cards. They teach Ben, played by a forgettable Jim Sturgess, how to count cards, a talent he already seems to know, and he rises in the ranks to become head crony. One of the gang is jealous of him, one is attracted to him, and one is a stereotype Asian guy. The jealous one gets mad and then gets kicked out, the one attracted to him gets laid and befriends him, and the Asian stereotype does what stereotypes do. Kevin Spacey turns on them, then they turn on Spacey – Ben gets to go to Harvard Medical. Nothing really stands out. In the spring wasteland this movie becomes a hit, if it were released against any other competition this film would be seen by Jim Sturgess’ parents and forgotten, but in the 2.99-bin-next-to-the-gas-station-register that is spring this movie is box office gold.

4 out of 10: your two hours and three minutes could be spent doing something else, so do so.

Smart People (Theatre) - Jennie

Noam Murro hasn’t directed before, Mark Poirer hasn’t written any other film – according to IMDB this film is the fledgling ship for both of these artists. So, why does this film feel so familiar? In the landscape of Hollywood today most films can be categorized pretty easily: big budget blockbuster, chick flick, raunchy comedy, and charming “indie” just to name a few. This falls so squarely in the latter’s category that I know I have watched this film before. The struggling college professor who must raise his children despite having no clue how to, the hip child who doesn’t know how hip she is, and the icing on this cake of déjà vu – Thomas Haden Church playing an overgrown child who bares his ass for laughs. Didn’t he play this same exact character in Sideways sans the middle school mustache? Despite this being a fairly entertaining film I found myself disappointed by its lack of flavor. I laughed at most of Church’s Man-Child antics, Dennis Quaid sold me on his beleaguered father shtick, hell, even Ellen Page’s rightwing incestuous student seemed fleshed out and real. I’m not sure what I was expecting. This was exactly the film anyone could have guessed would come out of this premise, but for a first film, how can this seem so rehashed?
I also have problems with the idea that all professors of English are depressed while maintaining a delightfully introspective hermit quality. Examples abound: The Squid and the Whale (2005), Wonder Boys (2000), even Sideways (2004) contained an English teacher who couldn’t get his career off the ground. This theme runs rampant in literature as well – John Irving comes to mind. Were all our English professors in college mollycoddled sourpusses? Mine certainly wasn’t. Though, as I think about it now I can understand the impetuous for such characters. I don’t know many English majors who focus on writing and want to become English teachers. No, they want to become writers. Thus becoming a teacher is settling, and writing about how they settled is more interesting than anything else that has happened in their life thus far. Well, I guess I changed my mind. But I still have a problem with it. Can these people only write about their life experiences?
Anyways, back to the film (warning: big spoiler here), the end completely pissed me off. For some odd reason they had Dennis Quaid impregnate Sarah Jessica Parker’s character – this was an annoying plot device in the first place. The two wanted to work with this development and so they get back together in the closing seconds of the film… uh… yeah. The most confusing and thus annoying thing about this was they showed shots of Quaid happily handling a child in the closing credit – ok. But, then, in the last shot they showed him cradling two children, one a baby girl, one a baby boy… she had twins! Yup, after a relatively well written albeit unoriginal film they end with a sitcom quality twist, maybe in real life that is what happened and as we all know English professor can’t write about anything but what they know.

6 out of 10: a humorous film for those that enjoy beards, butts, and books though it was bleakly bland.

Leatherheads (Theatre) - Both

George Clooney creates yet another love letter to the golden age of film in this simple story. With slapstick gags, miscommunication with humorous results, and a feisty relationship between to female and male protagonists I half expected this film to be set in black and white with stalk cards providing the dialog. I’m sure some enjoyed it, but to me, Clooney is loosing his charm. I hate to admit that. He seems cocky not confident, pushy not charming, I no longer want what he is selling. Clooney wants to sell me on the idea that a woman is only good if she can make it in a man’s world as a woman with a man’s attitude. He wants me to believe that fooling the police by dressing like a policeman is funny. It isn’t. It isn’t even entertaining really. These jokes don’t work anymore for a reason. We aren’t watching moving pictures for the novelty. Charlie Chaplin don’t cut it in my book. This is what I feel Clooney misunderstands or if he does understand it he wants to lead the charge back to making these things funny. Clooney and Soderbergh make yet another misstep in predicting that Clooney’s charm is limitless and can hold anything together.

4 out of 10: John Krasinski gives a worthwhile performance in this Clooney smarmfest though it isn’t nearly enough to be worth it.

The Ruins (Theatre) - Jennie

Horror movies recently have lost their identity. The torture-core of the last couple of years is dying down as are the Japanese imports. Every once in a while we will get one or the other, but overall horror movies are a drift in a sea of PG-13 schlock. Take the future release Prom Date; it seems to be about a very nondescript stalker who terrifies a young girl on prom night. Nothing pulls me in – and it is rated PG-13, how can horror movie be rated PG-13? In a year or two there will be a movie that reignites the genre, but for now I feel we are to be satisfied with remakes and weak fair that will please the public at large with their low rating.
The Ruins feels like a simple attempt to do something – certainly not reignite the genre –but something. Much like Turistas (2006) this film starts with a semi-attractive group of college-aged kids who ventured to the southern Americas in search of spring break fun. They meet a German who informs them that his brother knows of a temple that is not marked on the maps and that they could join him in a hike to this temple if they wanted to see something special. They oblige him and make their way to the temple. The temple turns out to hide a secret… Man Eating Plants! This does sound silly, I know. In fact, if I had to stop and think about the film, while I was watching it, I might have had less fun, but that was the monster – a plant that ate humans. Luckily this film doesn’t really give you time to stop and think about the preposterous nature of this fact. It keeps a brisk pace and throws up distractions such as an amputation without anesthetic and a search for a cell phone that is hidden in the dark recesses of the temple. The plants also have the ability to mimic speech, which, at the time, seemed like a perfectly normal thing for a man-eating plant to do, but now that I am writing this I feel somewhat stupid to be ok with it. They even gave an explanation that satisfied me (something about the plant being able to vibrate its flowers to a pitch that sounded like a human’s voice). Now, don’t get all persnickety with me and judge my ability to loose myself in a movie. Though, I am doing that as I write this. I dare you to watch this and not believe that a plant can fool humans into thinking that a cell phone is ringing with its flowers. Curse, even my defense sounds bad. Well, let me get out of this with some dignity and say that though this film's premise was laughably impossible the writer and director do a good job at throwing diversions at the audience to keep them from thinking to much about the situation.

5 out of 10: successful on some level – in that, I was entertained, but if you can’t turn off your mind for an hour and a half don’t bother.